Valentine’s Day used to mean something quite different to me before I got married and had kids. I used to worry about every little thing, like what to wear, where to eat, and what to get someone. I thought that love had to be shown in big, obvious ways.
Things have gotten a lot worse in my life. Instead of quiet candlelit nights, my Valentine’s Day celebrations usually include school runs, messy breakfast tables, and two kids who are too excited about chocolate and hearts to care about anything else. To be honest? I would not change anything about this day.
I promised myself I would do things differently this year when I was planning my party. I promised myself that I would not give in to my habit of buying last-minute gifts because everyone else does it. I did not want to go the forced or clichéd route. Instead, I wanted to choose Valentine’s Day gifts that were meaningful, useful, and thoughtful for our real relationship.
Photo by: Jonny Gios , Unsplash
How Love Changes When You Build a Family
Nobody really tells you how much Valentine’s Day changes when you have kids. It stops being a holiday just for couples and becomes something much bigger over time. It has become a family event in our house. The kids wake up excited and want to make cards for everyone they know. They ask questions about love. My daughter cuts out pink paper hearts and covers them in glitter very carefully. My son is mostly interested in whether there will be candy.
My husband and I often laugh about how different things are now than when we first got married. We used to plan trips on the weekends or make reservations for fancy dinners weeks in advance. Being able to have a full conversation without being interrupted every ten seconds is the most romantic thing in the world these days.
But I know that love does not get smaller when life gets busier. It just gets quieter, deeper, and more useful. It shows up in the little things that keep a family together, like working together, being patient, and spending time together.
Thinking Differently About Gifts
I thought for a long time that there were rules for what to give on Valentine’s Day. They had to be romantic, sentimental, and maybe even a little fancy. The usual gifts like perfume, jewelry, and flowers. And while those things are nice, I have come to understand that they do not always fit who we are anymore.
My husband is a great example. He has never liked fancy, traditional gifts. He really cares about experiences, comfort, and anything that has to do with being active. He plans the family’s little adventures most weekends, like walks, hikes, or trips to see new places.
That is why I thought of getting him new outdoor shoes right away when I started to think about what to get him this year. He has been saying for months that his old pair is worn out, but like most dads, he keeps putting off getting new ones for himself. It feels so much better to choose something useful like that than to buy a gift just because it looks romantic.
It shows that you care.
It shows that I pay attention.
It proves that I really know him.
To me, that is what a Valentine’s gift is really all about.
Valentine’s Day Through the Eyes of Children
This holiday is so much more fun now that I have kids. They do not care about big gifts or grand gestures. For them, Valentine’s Day is just a day to feel loved and have some fun. A heart-shaped pancake, a silly card, or a little treat waiting on the breakfast table can make them happy.
That is why I always try to make their gifts simple and useful. It seems like I am always replacing things because kids grow so fast. One month, everything fits, and the next month, half of their clothes are suddenly too small. That is why I think it is a good idea to refresh their kids clothing.
A warm new hoodie for my daughter and a comfortable outfit for my son are things they really need and will use every day. They might not be fancy gifts, but they are thoughtful in a way that fits with real family life.
Seeing how excited they are on Valentine’s Day morning reminds me that love does not have to be hard. Sometimes all it takes is to make your kids feel special and noticed.
Remembering to Take Care of Myself Too
I realized that I had slowly stopped doing things just for me when I was a wife, a mom, and trying to manage everything else. Like a lot of parents, I put my own hobbies and interests on hold for years. But I have been trying to change that lately.
A friend talked me into playing tennis again a few months ago. I was unsure at first because it had been so long since I had done anything sporty just for fun. But now it is one of my favorite things to do each week. That hour on the court is like a little break from my duties, a time to focus on something just for me.
So, on Valentine’s Day, I might have dropped a few hints about how much I would like a new pair of tennis shoes. Not too fancy or over the top, just something that makes me feel good and gives me energy. It may seem like a small thing, but those little things can make a big difference.
Learning how to take care of myself again has reminded me that love is not just about what we do for others, but also about how we feel good about ourselves.
Creating Our Own Traditions
One of the best things about celebrating Valentine’s Day with kids is that you can teach them what love really means. We talk a lot about being nice to each other, doing nice things for each other, and showing thanks in small ways every day.
I want them to know that love is not just something you say; it is something you do. It is giving your brother or sister a hug when they are sad, hugging someone when they need comfort, or just remembering to say thank you.
If they learn that, then every Valentine’s Day we have had will have been worth it.
Teaching the Kids About Real Love
One of the best things about spending Valentine’s Day with kids is that you can teach them what love really means. We talk a lot about being kind, doing nice things for each other, and showing thanks in little ways every day.
I want them to learn that love is not just something you say, it is something you do. It is helping your sibling when they are sad, hugging someone who needs it, or just remembering to say thank you.
Every Valentine’s Day in our house will have been worth it if they learn that.
Letting Go of Perfection
I have learned that holidays do not have to be perfect as I have gotten older. Life in the real world is messy. Things do not always go as planned. Kids get tired, dinners burn, and plans change. That is fine.
It does not have to look like a scene from a movie for Valentine’s Day to be special. I think it is much more beautiful when it shows real life with all its noise, laughter, and flaws.
Looking Forward to Another Year of Us
As February gets closer, I am not worried about making Valentine’s Day “perfect.” I am just looking forward to spending it with the people I love the most.
What matters is the feeling behind it all, whether it is picking out thoughtful Valentine’s gifts, having a family meal, or just spending a normal evening together. Love does not have to be loud to be real.
At the end of the day, the best part of Valentine’s Day is not the gifts or the plans. It is a simple reminder that we have each other, and that is all I need.